Formula, my friend

So if you know me at all you would know that I never had any intentions of my baby ever having formula.  Ever.  It was hard work breaking him of the formula he was started on at the hospital and he would never have it again.  I gave away every coupon and every can of formula I had received because I didn't even want it in the house.  I did keep one can of the formula he had at the hospital for emergency because I would hate to have some sort of need for it and have to run to the store to provide for baby.

Like most breastfeeding moms have encountered, there were many times that it seemed like Brady was never off of my boob for longer than five minutes.  I attributed those days to cluster feedings or to frequency days, where he was trying to increase my milk supply.  After a while though that became the norm and it seemed impossible to ever leave the house because I knew I would have a hungry baby on my hands within minutes.  Every time I would put him in the car he would scream uncontrollably until he would finally pass out.  It was heart-wrenching and I felt like no way did he ever have a full belly.  Surely a baby that was full would not act this way.

So after agonizing and debating I decided to buy a new can of formula and give him a few ounces to see how he would act.  I was able to run three whole errands with a baby that didn't fuss one time while we were gone.  Gradually over the last month his formula consumption has increased and although I never feel like my needs are superior to his, my existence has become much more comfortable and he has an opportunity a few times a day to get a nice full belly.  He seems to adore the bottle and I'm sure the reason why is that it spits out food at a rate my breasts never did.  I'm still breastfeeding everyday and will continue to do that indefinitely. 

Breast is always best, and I will always strive to make sure he has it, but gosh formula has made my life better.  My husband can help out more which he loves and I can leave the house.  Hallelujah.  So to all of you boob-nazi's: keep on doing what you are doing, but if you feel like you can't hang anymore, relax, let yourself feel that way without the guilt, and mix a bottle of formula.