Listen up

I have a very big announcement everyone: I have become a successful blogger! How do I know I am a successful blogger? Hate mail, that's how! You know you have truly made it when people start ranting about your posts in your comment section. The best blogger in the world receives hateful mail and comments on a daily basis and I have envied her email inbox for years.

So I was thinking, many of you may want to know some of the tricks to gaining the aforementioned hatemail. Everyone wants to be a better blogger so I am going to personally help you make your dreams a reality.

Step one: You must first write a post that would fall under the category of "humor" and "wit". I would also suggest throwing in a little dry humor and exaggeration.

Step two: Find some really sensitive readers that don't understand humor and wit and take every word in there absolute literal meaning.

After step two they take the ball and run with it - no more work for you! See how easy it is? If you are lucky enough, you could possibly receive something like the one I myself have received:

"...you are not receiving the attention your warped little psychie thinks you deserve"

or my absolute favorite:

"OH FUCKIN' BOO HOO, GROW THE FUCK UP AND LOOK AROUND!!"

I wish you all the best of luck. And feel free to leave all the hateful comments you want - even though they will be immediately deleted.